Blame Not My Gun
(A Parody of "Blame not my Lute"--with apologies to Sir Thomas Wyatt and none for Charlton Heston.)
Blame not my gun, for it must shoot
at him or her as likest me
for as I point, my gun is bound
to give such wounds as pleaseth me.
Although you give me cash and change
and wish that I was out of range,
Blame not my gun.
My gun, alas, doth not offend
to lethal force it must agree
to make such holes as I intend
in those who do not mark my plea.
And though my plea is somewhat rude,
with mercantile greed imbued,
blame not my gun.
My loaded gun may not deny
but as I shoot it must obey
curse it not then, so wrongfully
but give me all your hard-won pay.
I, through this crime which you so spite,
do get my gain by dark of night.
Blame not my gun.
Loot needs to loot and spending, change
and pilfered cash must needs be sown.
your purse so great, my debt's wide range,
of right it must abroad be blown.
and though you would some cop alert,
yield now, or I will do thee hurt.
Blame not my gun.
Blame but myself, that hast misdone
and well deserv'ed to have blame.
But do not strike at me, or run
for then my gun shall sound thy name.
For if my trigger-finger plays
and your death proves that robbing pays.
Blame not my gun.
Farewell thou rube, for though thou soak
my threads in gore and crimson rain,
it seems I am no longer broke
and can now pay my debts again.
Yea if perchance this churlish crime
results in my not doing time,
Blame not my gun.
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