If I am in an abusive relationship, what practical advice can you give to get out safely?
Create a safety plan:
Leaving an abuser can be dangerous. You're the only one who knows the safest time to leave. You may know you are in an abusive relationship and realize you need to leave as soon as you safely can. Or, you may be concerned about your partner's behavior and think you may need to get out at some point in the future. Either way, being prepared can help you leave quickly if you need to. Consider taking these precautions:
- Arrange a safety signal with a neighbor as an alert to call the police if necessary.
- Prepare an emergency bag that includes items you'll need when you leave, such as extra clothes, important papers, money, extra keys and prescription medications.
- Know exactly where you'll go and how you'll get there, even if you have to leave in the middle of the night.
- Call a local women's shelter or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 to find out about legal options and resources available to you, before you need them.
- If you have school-age children, notify the school authorities or school counselor about custody arrangements and warn them about possible threats.
It isn't uncommon for an abuser to monitor mail, telephone and Internet communication. Take precautions to help maintain your privacy and safety by following these steps.
Telephone conversations
- Avoid making long-distance phone calls from home. Your abuser could trace the calls to find out where you're going.
- Be aware of controlling use of your cell phone. Your abuser may use frequent cell phone conversations or text messages as a way to monitor and control your activities. An abuser may also check your cell phone to see who has called, or attempt to check your messages.
- Change your e-mail password often. Chose passwords that would be impossible to guess. The safest passwords contain at least six characters, both numbers and letters. Avoid easily guess numbers and sequences.
- Clear your Web-browser history. Browsers such as Internet Explorer or Netscape navigator keep a record of the Web pages and documents you have accessed. They also store graphics of images you look at. You can also use a program such as Absolute Shield Internet Eraser or Speed Tracks Eraser to clear your Internet records.
No one deserves to be abused. If you think you may be in an abusive situation, seek help or advice as soon as you safely can. There are many resources available to help you. The first step to getting out of an abusive situation may be as easy as making one phone call. In an emergency situation, call 911, your local emergency number or your local law enforcement agency. If you are not in immediate danger contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-SAFE or the local women's shelter or crisis center.
Getting Help:
If you are concerned about yourself or someone that is presenting these symptoms or behaviors, be aware that many facilities and counselors are available to help individuals deal with domestic violence issues. If you are a University of Louisiana at Lafayette student seeking help with these issues, please contact the Counseling and Testing Center at 337-482-6480 for more information. The center offers unlimited confidential sessions free of charge to all university students and staff.
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P.O. Box 44010
Lafayette, LA 70504
Saucier Wellness Center
OK Allen Hall
Phone: 337/482-6480
Fax: 337/482-1267
E-mail: counseling@louisiana.edu